Learning about a Paradox is a Paradox

What a class last night. I mean, talk about Philosophy 101. I think I now know less about a paradox than before the class. No really, just a really bad paradox joke.

Seriously, certain aspects of group dynamics can certainly be a paradox. I think for example the the paradox of disclosure. How much do you really want to disclose? Will it be too much or not enough? When do you disclose? What do you disclose? I suppose if it were easy it wouldn't be a paradox. So one thinks.

In the example of Julius and Gary sharing their real feelings with one another is an example of disclosure. Their brutal honesty with one another allowed for the first steps in a long season of the Titans becoming a true team. By disclosing their feelings without holding back, they opened up a door to true team unity.

But that sharing could have had the opposite effect. Perhaps that exchange could have made things worse. I remember as a kid, maybe 12 or 13, I had a similar exchange with a team mate about the team member not pulling his weight and missing key plays (soccer). I said to the team mate, "Come on Ned, get with the program." I was the team's goalie which is very much a team leader outside of the team captain, which was Ned. Ned played defense and often times thought he was right. Sometimes his stubbornness made him a bad captain. I remember it was practice and Ned was doing what Ned needed to do, which wasn't what I needed. His lack of field placement (being in the wrong place at the right time) cost our practice squad a goal. I was angry and so I shared my frustration with Ned. Ned and I got into a fist fight and therefore spent the rest of the practice running laps and were benched next Saturday.

Here you had two leaders on the team out of an important game because of disclosure. After that exchange Ned and I were no longer friends and our team suffered. I blamed myself for that, but also thought I did the right thing. The next season, I returned and Ned moved to another team. My coach the next season approached me (he was the assistant coach the season prior) and eventually commended my actions to standing up to Ned. You see need was a cancer on the team. I quit blaming myself for that incident and only just remembered it when reflecting on disclosure.